COUPLES THERAPY

YOUR RELATIONSHIP

DESERVES BETTER

I will provide you with honest and focused guidance that will open your eyes to what your relationship can be, as well as maintain your connection.  After all, it's not about not arguing, it's about recognizing what you long for, asking for what you want, and trusting your inner-self to anchor you through difficult conversations.

No matter where you are on your marital journey, you can have a fulfilling relationship that has enough room for your differences and an expanse of shared love to build on for many years to come.

LONGING FOR

CONNECTION

& INTIMACY?

Are you walking on eggshells out of fear that you are going to make things worse?

None of your usual go-tos to manage the relationship are working — you’re at the end of your rope.

Does it feel like you’re having the same arguments over and over again?

Have you and your partner grown apart and it’s keeping you up at night?

Has your relationship turned you into a nag because you don’t feel heard?

All couples go through challenging times and wanting the relationship to be the best that it can be. Reconnection only begins with a proven process. As a certified Emotionally Focused Therapist and advanced practitioner of the Developmental Model that is exactly what I offer all of my clients.

We will take a focused approach that will go well beyond “putting a band-aid” on your relationship challenges. My goal is to set you up on a solid path together where you no longer need me in order to have those important conversations and to repair the bond when other disagreements arise.

COUPLES THERAPY CAN REVITALIZE YOUR

RELATIONSHIP

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN IN

COUPLES THERAPY

Within a few sessions, you will identify your negative cycle and practice how to slow it down before it takes over.

1

You will access the underlying emotions and longings that have remained buried for so long underneath your defenses.

2

You will learn how to communicate your thoughts, feelings and wishes and have them be responded to in a loving way.

3

You will identify a personal agenda for change to learn how to hold yourself accountable for your own happiness.

4

You will experience and learn to perfect the art of repairing ruptures to preserve your relationship from future moments of disconnection.

5

A HEALTHY &

CONNECTED RELATIONSHIP

BEGINS TODAY.

Do you sometimes look over to your partner and wonder “what happened to us?” Like all relationships, yours started with curiosity, playfulness, and aspirations for a future together that would be about connection, trust, and growth. And then…. something happened and it’s hard to identify a specific incident that changed the course of your relationship. One thing is for sure, the current dynamics are not sustainable and you’re getting to a breaking point. 

It’s because your relationship matters so much to you that seemingly small yet repetitive disagreements can eventually feel painful and isolating.

You worry that the two young lovers from long ago are beginning to fade away. One of you has gone from making gentle requests to resentful demands. Uh!!  You don’t even like the person you can become sometimes. Meanwhile, your partner has started to shut-down, check-out or gets defensive. One more work email, another weekend in front of the TV, falling asleep stroking the iPad rather than each other – to him or her, just about anything sounds better than the dreaded “talk.”

NO ONE COMPLETELY
FEELS GOOD ABOUT THE STATE OF THE UNION, BUT BOTH OF YOU ARE AFRAID TO ROCK THE BOAT

Every relationship and marriage goes through its own steps and stages of evolution that require a special kind of attention, care and nurturance. And there are definite times when your disconnection creates worry and uncertainty about the strength of the relationship in the face of stressors or adversity. You're either feeling like you are no longer a priority for your partner/spouse, or disagreeing about what's best for the children/family while feeling alone with all of the decision-making and responsibilities. There's just so much going on at all times that you can't even imagine having the energy to tackle this silent tension between you two. From the outside, your relationship seems like any other, but you know something isn’t quite right. These un-addressed conversations are becoming topics that you will have to face eventually, but when? how? ... It's just too much and too scary. What if things get worse if we talk about it?

THE GOOD NEWS IS
THAT IN THE RIGHT HANDS, COUPLES THERAPY CAN CREATE THE BRIDGE YOU LONG FOR: TO MEET ONE ANOTHER HALF WAY AND CHALLENGE EACH
OTHER TO BECOME
BETTER PARTNERS.

YOU MAY HAVE SOME LINGERING

QUESTIONS

  • Yes I do! Online therapy, also known as telehealth, has become an essential source of receiving mental health and medical care. Luckily, we know that online therapy is just as effective as in-person sessions.

    As I am licensed in New York and Connecticut, I offer my therapy services to countless couples across both States and internationally. These video or phone sessions are confidential, secure and tailored specifically for your needs. Plus, you don’t have to both be in the same location to start working on your relationship — online therapy offers great flexibility for couples who live apart.

    For video session, the process is easy and doesn’t require any special arrangements. A few minutes before our session, you will receive a link to the video conferencing “waiting room” where we will meet for our therapy appointments.  Find out more about secure telehealth counseling set up and FAQs.

  • The initial 5 sessions are part of an assessment period to determine your levels of motivation to work on your marriage, to identify your respective personal goals to become better partners, and to clarify how you are currently continuing to get stuck in your negative cycle.

    The work begins from our very first session together. I know you are in distress and you don't want to waste any time.

    In session 1, we will start with a 90 minute couples session during which you will share what brings you to couples therapy, the common arguments you have, and I will ask some preliminary questions about you and the relationship. You will get a sense for how I am as a therapist and how I would work with you.

    Sessions 2 and 3 are 90 minute individual sessions with each of you separately to gather your personal histories (how you grew up, past relationships, etc.), and most importantly, for each of you to describe your experiences in the relationship (without worries of triggering your partner). These individual sessions are very important for the rest of the couples work.

    After the two individual sessions, we will reconvene for couples counseling sessions where I will share an overview of our assessment period and my recommendations for the path forward. I will provide you with a thorough overview of my process (I believe in being 100% transparent) and answer any further questions that may have come up for you along the way.

    If you’re ready to jump-start this process, I offer a one-day intensive that will create the momentum you are looking for — additional details are available on my Couples Intensives page.

    From this point forward, we will meet weekly (60 minute sessions) or bi-weekly (90min sessions), and frequently check-in to make sure we all feel on track with your goals. Over the course of couples counseling, should you or I feel that it's important to have an individual session, we will make the necessary arrangements.

  • Because couples therapy is an emotional and financial investment, you want to ensure that you are in the hands of a therapist with real expertise. Not only is couples counseling my specialty area, I’m a certified and supervisor-candidate in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), which is an internationally renown couples modality that has decades of empirical research behind it. 

          EFT is considered the gold-standard of couples therapy modalities. Based on a meta-analyses, 90% of couples showed significant improvement in their relationship and 70% of couples shifted from distress to recovery, with lasting results (for heterosexual and LGBT couples).

    Additionally, I’m an advanced practitioner of the Developmental Model that promotes individual growth and accountability as part of being in a relationship.

         Most couples experience a noticeable improvement in their interactions after 12 consecutive (weekly) sessions (when the whole couple is committed to the process both in and out of therapy).scription text goes here

  • Absolutely! Like all relationships, yours has and will continue to evolve in the face of life’s many transitions. Ideally, what you want is for each of you to grow and adapt to those transitions together – in a way that lets the other know “we’re in this together.” The sooner you address those smaller disagreements the stronger your foundation will be to face any future challenges as a connected unit. When couples wait a long time to address the issues that are getting in the way, the more entrenched they become, and the harder it is to find a way back to each other. What could have been a few sessions can turn into years of therapy.

  • This is such a common feeling that many couples find themselves in: a version of the devil you know versus the devil you don’t. Yes, it is true that couples therapy can uncover issues that have been buried away for years, but until those are addressed you’re really never going to get clear about your potential as a couple and feel connected with each other. The same issues will constantly crop up and the disconnection will grow into a chasm between you.

    When you are in the hands of a specialized couples therapist who has worked with many of the similar challenges you’re facing, you can trust that you will each be attended to with compassion and supported to work through anything. It is truly possible to make your marriage better than ever regardless of what you’ve been through, as long as you both want more from yourselves and each other.

  • Yes, absolutely! All people and relationship shapes are welcome. I work with all types of relationship, including polyamorous/ethical non-monogamy.

  • Approximately, 30% of couples are described as “mixed agenda” couples — one partner feels like they’re done, while the other really wants to fight for the relationship. This is where Discernment Counseling comes in. It’s not marriage therapy; Discernment Counseling is a structured and empirically studied model to gain clarity and confidence about the future of the relationship, while recognizing your individual contributions to the state of the marriage.

  • All fees include session time and notes. They do not include consultations and coordination with other care providers.


    COUPLES THERAPY
    Intake session ~ $625/90mins

    COUPLES THERAPY
    Sessions ~ $415/55mins

There’s no commitment, pressure, or obligation. You get to share with me a little bit about what you’re looking to work on and I can answer any questions you might have about my practice.

Note that I am private pay / out of network provider only

  • "We had never done counseling before, and I remember my husband was very skeptical that the therapy would ever work. After just a few sessions with Ebru, he admitted to me that it was the best decision we had made for our relationship to see her. These sessions were eye-opening to both of us. We have learned so much not only about one another, but about ourselves that we never realized before."

    — Westchester, NY

  • "Ebru is made for this career, it seems to be natural for her, to understand the mechanisms, to see patterns and to find very effective ways to help untangling everything."

    — New York

  • "She facilitated us in a very painful, traumatic time in our marriage and helped us communicate to each other what we knew all along.”

    Greenwich, CT

  • "We had an excellent experience. Ebru was punctual and responsive, while also compassionate and understanding… During therapy sessions she was prepared and engaged. It was clear that there was more preparation and investment than I had experienced with other therapists. We found the therapy very helpful and would highly recommend working with her."

    — Brooklyn, NY

  • "Ebru was not judgmental. She gave us both an equal voice - and calmed us if we needed to pause. She is far above a therapist we saw several years ago. We learned to communicate better and use the tools daily that Ebru addressed with us."

    — Westport, CT

  • "Ebru is warm, curious, interested and inisghtful, providing thoughtful feedback while gently challenging my prespective. She was clear in establishing goals for our work together and was successful in brining awareness to the issues I had hoped to address"

    — Darien, CT

ARTICLES ABOUT COUPLES THERAPY